Journal
Window is a journal Maria Amidu started in January 2016, it is a repository for her random musings on significant and insignificant things
a little word on social distancing...
...okay, so this is something that all minoritised people are very familiar with; so, so many times people have avoided standing close to me or sitting in the one empty seat next to me on the train or crossing the road when they see me coming... Covid-19 social distancing is totally counter-intuitive to me but for the racists it's just business as usual...
what has brought me here... (free writing, in motion)
the outcome of an amazing writing retreat We See You Now run by artist Alinah Azadeh and producer Amy Zamarippa Solis (virtually instead of at Seven Sisters in real life as planned)
descending mantra what has brought me here, what has brought me here, what has brought me here, and oh yes, what do I carry, what do I carry, what do I carry
people have brought me here - non physical guides, people I needed to get away from, the dissenters (dementors actually), the encouragers, the teachers, me
looking inward and focusing outward, stopping to speak to my neighbours because we need to as we all think how the heck did we get here
there’s a man using a tree as his opponent, ancient movement connecting with ancient oak (I think) who/what brought him here...
cool relief from green green grass
nature’s minutiae confetti-ing the path
unnoticed vantage points
things out of place, trees that seem to belong elsewhere
evidence of life
camouflaged stone
scents I’d forgotten wafting past me
joy and freedom
interruption
contamination
unwelcome noises
forgetting how my legs work
evidence of wind in the distance, out there where there’s no one
baby steps (forgetting how my legs work again)
the welcome sound of the sea and my feet crunching down to the shoreline
up close and personal with the water
noticing my waistband hugging my belly and thinking oh no no no I’m not having that
enjoying the pressure of the big stones pressing against the soles of my feet, lingering
noticing the white house, number 15, unique apparently, never clapping on a Thursday, blinds always drawn, who are they the people in there
ascending mantra, where did I put my bloody bank card, where did I put my bloody bank card, where is my bloody bank card
humour - might be the something that wants to be told
descending mantra, did I put it in my pocket, did I put it in my pocket, did I put it in my pocket...
a family of gulls flying low, crossing the road bold as you like
...no it seems not
ascending moan, god I’m knackered, bloody hell now I need to call the bank, I still haven’t had my lunch, I shouldn’t have popped into the shop, why don’t I just listen to instructions, god I need to do some exercise
things going wrong, farce, you couldn’t make this shit up (something me and my bestie say way too often)
circles, circular, cycles
assets
losing things
mishaps
cancellings out
messing up
life getting in the way
electronic instructions, then a kindly remote voice sorting out my little problem
being cool, at ease, going with the ungrounded flow
so what am I learning about my writing...
spontaneous embodied thoughts lightly pressed onto the screen
today I want to feel light, although my waistband is whispering, annoyingly,
oh dear oh dear
photos: grateful toes; nature keeping calm and carrying on; signs of life; crispy kale epic fail
Day 49 comfort
1. another splendid gift from People United 2. my little studio (at home, phew!) 3. music (and Buddha) 4. a brilliant gift (School of Life) from my friend Carole :-)
out of the dark
Jay Blades doing good work, a really uplifting 6 minutes and 53 seconds of screen time this morning (and lord knows there's so much to watch whilst we're all locked in!)
